Repentance is a negative feeling, which is based on counter-truth thinking. Opposite thinking is about looking back and bringing up imaginary situations that make us believe things could have been better. For example: If I try hard in a relationship, everything can be fixed. The human brain is great at building alternative worlds, and they are often based on our desires and needs, but they are often a reflection of where and how we want to get in life.
It is easy to understand that excessive sadness is not good, because instead of personal growth, it leads to frustration and negativity. If you are struggling with your grief, these little tips will help you.
1. Allow yourself to feel
While this may seem like a thing of course, in practice it is not. Even if you are immersed in advice in the style of “look from the bright side”, if you do not succeed, we have good news for you: this is not always a good way. Furthermore, it has been proven that raising awareness and experiencing negative emotions actually helps to activate them. In addition, suppressing emotions can make things worse and make your problem more serious and your reactions more intense.
2. Make a list of what you have learned from the experience
Return to that list whenever you need a life reminder. When you hear someone say, “I do not regret anything,” it does not automatically mean that the person is at some point in denial, but that he was able to turn such experiences into an opportunity to learn something new, for development. Repentance is the most important tool for setting goals, because it refers to the moment when you think about what you want to avoid in the future. So instead of getting frustrated with what you might have done or said differently, think about how that experience changed and improved you. Instead of saying “everything could have been different”, think about what feelings of frustration, anger or sadness teach you about the present moment. You cannot change the past, but it will help you to better position yourself in the future.
3. Review the “Ideal Scenario” that is not true
Sadness focuses on what you could have done differently, but the truth is, you may not realize that everything would have been better if you had made a different decision. For example, if you regret not saving much money, it may be helpful to move away from the thought, “Everything will be fine if I stick to my savings plan.” Process. They play an equally important role. Perhaps, even if you don’t see it clearly now, some aspects of your life are really better because you didn’t cut it. We suggest you think about how a different choice will negatively affect you.
4. Forgive yourself
Grief is a sign that you have personal standards for how you live your life, but being a human being from time to time fails to meet those expectations. When that happens, do the work of forgiving yourself.
There is no magical solution that will help you accept everything you regret immediately, but it is achieved by activating yourself and gradually forgiving yourself. It is best to start by expressing grief. The first thing you can imagine is talking to a friend (instead of you). This will help open up compassion for you so you can deal with grief.
5. Reviewing as an opportunity to learn something
So, you allow your feelings to escalate and you may have talked to someone about that experience. Now comes the recovery phase. What did this failure teach you? How can you use this experience to your advantage? By building experience on what you have learned, you can avoid making mistakes like this in the future. And if you’ve made the same mistake more than once, you often have to put in a lot of effort before something can be resolved.
6. Write down everything you write incorrectly
It may seem negative, but if you think about things you regret, it may still help you if you write them down. Writing about negative thoughts gives you the opportunity to check them out in some way and allows you to bring context into your personal story. Well, uniqueness is on your side. If you feel more confident, you can work on building it now. Or, if you think a better education will set you up for a different professional experience, it may be time to explore the courses you can take in the future. Whether you realize that your grief is unfounded or not, it is important to remember that you are more than Him, and that your whole life is not just that.
7. Attitude to whom
Forgiving yourself may give you some peace of mind, but it can sometimes involve other people. Whenever possible you should have all of these components in place for launch to maximize profits. For example, if you regret not meeting your family when you have the opportunity, it is not too late to call them now, apologize and make a new promise. In some other situations, it may be inappropriate or impossible to apologize. It may make you think that regretting contacting a high school alumnus is fair. There is nothing wrong with that, but speak for yourself first. However, contacting a person after 30 years may not be appropriate.
8. Integration in the future
Living in the past often creates a sense of hopelessness and helplessness because you feel you can do nothing about it. On the other hand, focusing on the future can help you re-engage in your life.
9. Talk to an expert
Going to a therapist is not a bad idea (and if you need help choosing one, we are here for you). If you feel guilty and sad, you need some professional help. It’s true that you can read a lot of advice online, but they – like this article – can not change the conversation with someone who is trained to help. While it is easy to allow guilt to overwhelm us, keep in mind that our mistakes do not define or determine our lives, and it will be easier for you to overcome them.